The 8^th time on the plane in these two weeks, and the 1^st time cry on the plane in my life.

From China to Auckland, Auckland to Dunedin, Dunedin to China to Canada, Canada to HK to Auckland, Auckland to Dunedin, Dunedin backs to Auckland… Four and a half years, can not remember how many times on the flight, never cried – even the first time left home for a country far far away from home by myself. I guess I am just a cold blood person. Weirdly, this time, left Dunedin – the small, boring, cold, hilly town, my first time cried on the plane. Why? Auckland is better, warmer, nicer food, more shops, more opportunities… Should not I be happy? I do not know…maybe tears just do not need a reason sometimes.

This April, I came back to NZ with confidence, patience, beautiful dreams…I told myself that, finally, after traveling and moving around for four years, I would get myself a place to settle down. To make my beautiful but simple dreams come true…however, nothing is gonna be easy. I thought maybe I am the lucky one that donot need to suffer before deserve something good. I was so wrong…”No pain, no gain” is the path that everyone has to go through…almost four months past. I am still in the middle of nowhere, not sure how far I am from my dreams. Perhaps, it is just at the next corner, although I cannot see it, but it is only one step away; or maybe, it is still a long long journey for me to reach that goal.

If there is no rainsquall, the rainbow will not come out either; the point is, after the rain, will rainbow always come out? I have to admit that have been trying my best after four months, all my patience, confidence, good temper have gone…

I am not there yet, and I am not sure how far I am from it. However, still wanna thank many people. Thank you, Daddy and Mummy! I used to be the perfect child in many parents’ eyes since I was a little kid, which even caused my friends’ jealousy. That’s because they do not know how naughty and treasonous I am in front of my parents. And I know that Mum and Dad will be the only two people in the world to see me still as their perfect girl, and they will always love me uncensored and unconditionally no matter how many demerits I have! So thank you Mummy and Daddy, I promise I will try my best and will not let you down.

Thank you my dearest Sis Eve, Lili, my nice and funny flatmates. You did not only offer me a place to live, but also a deep friendship to treasure. I would be so depressed without you guys being around! I will remember the pizza night, the skating, our fun beach party, the nice meal last night, karaoke and all the beautiful things. I hate the feelings of missing someone crazily because it makes me feel weak. Unfortunately, I am afraid it will happen again.

Thank you, my dear friends in Dunedin, although not many, but you guys are super enough to keep me away from loneliness. Thank you my friends somewhere in the world, thank you for your supportive, kind and warm word, to encourage me!  And I know when I feel like bothering someone, you will be there for me! Thank “you”, all the troubles…”you” help me to grow up!

“ All that you see is me, and all I truly believe – that I was born to try, I’ve learnt to love, be understanding, believe in life… but you gonna make choices – be wrong or right, sometimes you gonna sacrifice the things you like…but I was born to try!” (Delta Goodrem “Born to try”)

Be strong, everyday is gonna be a new start!